In the first post I made last week on how to use fear for personal growth, I concentrated on the first of three scenarios that I take my clients through in my Executive Coaching business. That scenario was – what if it all goes pear shaped? In other words, the worst case scenario.
There are 2 other questions that I seek answers to – what if you do nothing? And – what if it were a success? This post concentrates on – what if I do nothing?
“But”, I hear you say, “I would never just do nothing – I am not like that!” Well, maybe that is true, but I hate to shatter your self perception because we are all a bit like that in certain aspects of our lives.
The reality is that I have seen many people literally paralyzed by the experience of everything going pear shaped, and just existing in a state of non activity, hoping that things will improve. Any thought or concept of personal growth vanishes. They rationalize by saying “I am just going to keep the head down, and something will turn up”
This is the opposite of using fear for personal growth – it is the kiss of death! The reality is that you are either moving forwards or backwards – there is no such thing as standing still.
It does not matter which aspect of your life we are talking about – it is the same. If you are not moving forward, and progressing, you are going backward and regressing. If you are not achieving personal growth, you are experiencing a diminution of self.
I see this time and time again when running executive coaching sessions – the item that you were bothered about a couple of years ago, but have done nothing about, you now feel worse about it. You felt bad last year that you did nothing about your physical health, but having done nothing about it, you feel worse about that now as well. The relationship that you said you wanted to invest time and emotion in, is now in a worse state than it was when you said that for the first time. A couple of years ago you said you wanted to spend more time with your children, but you did nothing about it, and now you feel so much worse for it, and the relationship with your kids is not where you would like it to be.
So, I know you said that you would never just do nothing – but we all do nothing in certain aspects of our lives, and what we have neglected does not stand still, because it only gets worse.
Now, just think of something in your life that you are currently doing nothing about, – something you really want to. Now think what that will be like in a couple of years if you continue to do nothing – not a pretty thought, is it!
Now, use your fear of failure to make real personal growth.